Living with a family with whom it’s not possible for me to speak English means that I’ve had no choice but to navigate day-to-day life in French – learning how to double-lock the apartment door when I leave, learning how to use their washing machine (which has a few peculiarities…everything works a little bit differently in Europe…), and coordinating schedules to figure out when we eat together (part of our agreement is that they feed me three times per week) are all things that we talked about in French. There are also all the little conversations that happen when we cross paths, as well as the tri-weekly conversations over dinner.
One of the things I’ve realized is that learning a language implies more than just improving my speaking and comprehension skills – there’s also a dimension of social practices that I’ve had to make myself familiar with in order for various interactions to go smoothly. In France, one must always say bonjour to a shopkeeper when entering a store, for instance. One usually makes a point of saying greetings to professors when entering a classroom and saying bye when leaving. In a restaurant, if you ask for the check, it’s understood that you’re about to leave (as opposed to in the U.S. where people often stay at their table long after paying the check), and if a server brings you a check that you hadn’t asked for yet, they’re effectively telling you to leave. There’s also the matter of vous versus tu. Both are the second-person subject pronoun (“you”), but when addressing an individual, vous is formal, while tu is familiar.
