She does not have a real option to say no in a society that has a strict social and heirarchical contract about these things.
Child marriage
Child marriage is a big issue here as people are “getting married” as young as 12 years old. It is not uncommon for me to see young teenagers at the health post for their prenatal checkups, accompanied by their much-older male relatives who got them pregnant. It’s heartbreaking.
Local and international NGOs continue to sponsor programs and information sessions about combating this issue.
Cousin Marriage
People can marry their first cousins with no problem here, and family marriage is actually encouraged. Divorce is seen as an extremely bad thing in Pulaar culture because it breaks up family. The more closely people are related, the less likely they’ll be able to split up, because their support system is made up of the same people.
Divorce
If a divorce occurs without a marriage certificate, the man can take the children and the woman has no say in the matter. In my town, an older male friend has just taken a fourth wife who is a divorcée. She has two children from a previous marriage, but she does not get to see her children as her husband took them when they split up.
If serious abuse occurs, it is unlikely to be reported. People are very casual about violence here, so beating one’s wife is not considered unusual behavior. I am consistently asked if my husband beats me and locks me in our room. Women have insisted in disbelief that he must beat me sometimes and are shocked as I continue to insist that this is not the case.
