Acknowledging others in a friendly way, even if they are complete strangers, is how we show respect and politeness.
In contrast, South Korean culture, like many East Asian cultures in my experience, have a different perspective on how to show politeness and respect to others. They emphasize respect based primarily on age and occupation. They have a very intricate honorific system, and where you fall in that system decides how you respond and interact with others. Usually with strangers, unless you have been introduced to them or there is some specific reason why you need to speak with them, you politely mind your own business. So it has been quite the change for me to realize that casual conversation with strangers is not the norm here. Sitting beside another student in class doesn’t mean they necessarily want to make new friends, either. Some are just there to learn and move on. It’s much quieter in cafes, on busy subways, and out in public than I’m used to. At first it felt really isolating and lonely, but I had to remind myself that this was nothing personal! This was just a different perspective on how to respectfully treat people you don’t know or don’t know very well.
And that’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of friendly people here in Korea! Typically other students and people in the area around the university that are used to foreigners are much more outgoing. Also, if you make the first move to ask for help or strike up a conversation, they are usually happy to talk with you. There is so much more that we have in common that once you get going, one way or another, there is plenty to bond over. You just have to keep in mind that there can be some really striking differences in a perspective you didn’t realize you had in first place.
