We would make sure to wait until everyone was free before heading to the cafeteria to eat. After we would finish eating, we would just sit and talk. I asked if they had any interest in getting coffee on the weekend, something you do with friends, but they quickly avoided my question. They did not see us as having that type of relationship yet. I was starting to get frustrated because I had known these girls for a little while now. Yet I knew it was up to them to determine if we and when we were considered friends. I had to have patience and respect their culture.
Finally, two months after we started eating lunch, they started to call me a friend. We were walking to the bus and one of them said "Three friends walking to the bus. What a great day! The both of you will have to come over for coffee at my flat one of these weekends." I was so happy to hear these words - friend and an invite for coffee in the same moment. While it was tough to wait for this moment, it feels good because I know that they really mean that we are friends. It is not something they say to a lot of people. It shows that we have a close relationship that will last, and I am sure we will stay in touch, even after I head back to the United States.
